Aug 29, 2019
How do we love ourselves? What does that look like? Do we FALL in love with ourselves romantically or is it something else? With all this talk about self love and mindfulness we scour book shelves and read articles endlessly trying to cram in some new practise so we feel better about our lives but I wonder, would we need all this if we truly loved ourselves? And if we did, how would that look?
So we embark upon a journey together in this 40 minute episode via knitting, a broken bone, a playground rhyme, bricks in back packs, neighbours, Shakespeare, a favourite wedding reading, imposter syndrome, Emma Willis, eschatological realism and snakes and ladders – this is a whistle stop tour around what love is and how we can love ourselves as we love others …..
Loving ourselves is surely accepting ourselves for who we are. Isn’t that how you love your partner? Your kids? Your friends and your neighbour? You’re not trying to change them, you love them as they are, where they are in their life, foibles and all – the question is, going back to Hazel’s original question, how do I love myself? I wonder if you already know how to love yourself – you’re just not doing it because you’ve got this other set of rules that you’re making yourself abide by – but they aren’t based on truth, they aren’t fair, they aren’t there to help you grow.
You know I’ve talked about how the world is like a giant jigsaw puzzle and each of us has our own unique space to be exactly who we are – it’s not about being like someone else, or fitting in with the crowd, it’s about looking at the shape that we ARE and saying that it fits, that it works perfectly in its space.
There is a term, Eschatological realism which is the belief that over time, we are gradually beginning the person we were born to be, that there is a better tomorrow, that you aren’t defined by the mistakes of your past, but actually as each day passes, you are getting closer to becoming your true self.
So if we can learn to love ourselves in the way we are willing to love others, with kindness and patience, with hope, endurance and acceptance, we can allow ourselves to take that journey toward discovering ourselves. We know, through ancient wisdom, our ancestors, our grandparents, wherever you want to look – we KNOW that we become the better versions of ourselves over the passage of time, the trick is in allowing it to happen.
Life becomes so much easier when you stop pretending that its easy – because it’s not easy, it’s like watching the death slide at the end of I’m a Celebrity, desperately trying to climb up a water slide with everything you could possibly think of being thrown at you from all angles and just as you think you’re nearly there, a jet of water knocks you off your feet and you slide all the way back to the beginning again – life is a game of snakes and ladders – that’s real life, right there, on a board game! The trick is in letting yourself play.